HO-LY SHIT!

I was thumbing through the 1 cent CD’s on Amazon.com, looking for something to make fun of. Little did I know I’d find a TOTAL FUCKING GEM and ACTUALLY BUY IT!

The CD I ordered, for just one measly penny (ok, shipping too) is BAT OUT OF HELL! The fucking real deal, original Meatloaf. None of this Bat Out Of Hell 2 shit. It’s really an awesome album. Every single song has like, eight crescendos—absolutely epic. This is driving music if there ever was any. It’s perfect for you and a buddy (you’ve got to learn the words) ramming around town at high speed on a Thursday afternoon with a buzz.

“And the LAST Thing I saw (oh, and we’re shouting it out the windows at people we pass by) was my HEART STILL A-BEATING / Breaking outta my body / and flyin’ away / like a BAT OUT OF HELLLLLL!”

Oh man. What a familiar scene. It was something we did often, that is, until I lost the cassette. (Something about Bat Out of Hell is better to have on cassette…) But I don’t have that car, nor a tape player anymore. So we’re going to have to upgrade.

Just in time for spring. Fuck. Yeah.

You too can join in the fun for only ONE CENT! DO IT NOW! You won’t be sorry!

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Sure, the Gin Blossoms were masters of rock-lite, creating radio-friendly pop hits that should inspire nothing except ambivalence, but I don’t care: this album is a gem. There is just something so remarkably catchy about their jangle that keeps me revisiting them on a near-regular basis.

What’s that? You sold your copy of New Miserable Experience? Don’t fret! You can pick up a copy at Amazon for the low, low price of $0.01.

Why? Why had I never heard Sloan until about a month ago? Easily my new musical crush, the band is huge in their native land of Canada but never really broke in the US, despite a few attempts. Granted, their first album, Smeared, came out in 1992 on Geffen, and I think at that point the label had their hands full (see: Nirvana).

Really though, in the post Nirvana grunge-boom, tons of bands had the access to MTV and had the opportunity to make it big. Sloan just somehow never quite stuck (because they’re Canadian?). Despite turning into a sheer, glimmering power pop band, Smeared remains a monstrous debut full of Sonic Youth-like distortion, shoegazing noise, and some serious melodic hooks. It’s a bit chaotic at times, but still about as good as any debut that came out in the alt-rock ’90s.

The best part? You can head over to Amazon and pick it up for only a penny. Seriously. If you have a soft spot in your heart for bands like the Lemonheads or Sugar, you owe it to yourself to start loving Sloan as well, and this is as good a place as any to start.

Need proof? Check out this awesomely low-budget video for their song “500 Up”.

Remember when every video used to consist of a band playing live to some wacky camera angles? Yeah, those were good days.