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The Daily Swarm is reporting that the Juno soundtrack is going to top the Billboard charts this week with 68,000 albums sold.
Let me start with this: I hated Juno. A lot. Which is why I’m conflicted about seeing this soundtrack hit #1, because I love The Moldy Peaches, Kimya Dawson, and Adam Green.
This isn’t one of those “I loved them before you” scenarios. I’m just really confused why this soundtrack has managed to outsell all three of their respective catalogs combined? Shouldn’t people just being buying the self-titled Moldy Peaches instead? I mean, the soundtrack doesn’t even have “Nothing Came Out”, the mix-tape jam of ‘01.
Sure, there are some other great tracks on the album, like Sonic Youth’s cover of the Carpenter’s “Superstar”, but nobody is talking about those other songs. They’re talking about Kimya Dawson. I’m glad people are finally discovering her, but I hope it goes beyond just buying the soundtrack because it’s the hot new thing.
Garden State, in all its pretentious glory, managed to make legitimate stars out of the bands it featured. Somehow I can’t quite imagine a Kimya Dawson record breaking the top ten on the Billboard charts, and I think that is where my conflict lies: I want to see her blow the hell up, but that is never going to happen, so people buying this soundtrack are really only supporting of that piece of crap movie that not even the always-adorable Michael Cera could save.
What do you think? Am I being a baby about this? Should I just be happy that Kimya, Adam, and the Moldy Peaches are gaining some exposure? Or am I right to let my hatred of Juno spoil their party?
I didn't like it, and neither did my companion.
Here's why: I dislike movies that have a pandering tone to them. And this one self-consciously panders to my demographic, I won't even say my generation 'cause the writers put in a bunch of references they thought would appeal to the ADHD myspace tweentiesomethings as well. But, for the most part, it seemed like a team of 30-something Hollywood hotshot writers plunking "hip" one-liners in the mouths of these actors. That was a mistake, especially in Ellen Page's case, because it reads as a Jeanine Garofolo imitation. Trying hard to make Juno so cool and unique by inflicting 30-something musical taste (she describes Mott the Hoople as "hardcore", I'd like to punch the doofus who wrote that one) and deadpan aloofness upon her left a bad taste in my mouth.
Some other things that irked me (I'm so IRKABLE):
1. The Van. The family's not in trouble, both Mom and Dad have jobs, they would have a Subaru wagon. So why this intentionally beat-up looking van? And an HVAC specialist would take out a small business loan to get a TRUCK or a NEW Chevy VAN. Anyone can afford a car- Maybe it was to make the family look more humble.
2. Reference to a girl that smells like soup. This must be a classic because Seinfeld used it in '93 and probably Woody Allen before that.
3. Teen girls using salacious "adult" words for body parts like drunk 25 year-old males. "Pork sword" and "fun bags". Seems like a contrived way to make them appear jaded.
4. The Music. Why is it so easy to make a soundtrack seem cool by putting the Kinks on it? And that Moldy Peaches band! I always KNEW I hated them, so I avoided them like the plague. Fuckin' cutesy indie car-commercial music! Awful!
They ARE the plague.
5. Justin Bateman plays a jingle-writer. Who the fuck uses jingles.I try not to fall for these movies, they're a cheap trick. The characters are compiled and assembled so that you will like them.
"You know how I feel about that Juno girl. She's just so different!" When Paulie Bleeker's mom said this, my girl and I looked at each other straight-faced while the audience ate it up like ice cream sundae pancakes.
Sometimes this stuff works (see Superbad and Little Miss Sunshine) and sometimes it doesn't (Broken Flowers, Dan in Real Life, JUNO). Fuck Juno and all who got suckered into licking it's balls off. Including the Academy.
My hate for this movie extends to the soundtrack, even if it's full of indie rockers. A reunited Smiths could have scored that film and I'd still hate it.