What a $4300 blowjob looks like

Alright. Still no word from the rest of End Hits. And frankly, it still doesn’t matter. I’m killing it today. I mean, there’s MEAT WEEK!, and if that wasn’t enough, I present to you, fresh from the Eliot Spitzer Sex Scandal, Ashley Alexandra Dupré! (or, “Kristin”).

SHE’S A SINGER!. That’s right. At least, that’s what Drudge says. Man, this is too good. Not the music, but I have a remedy—Ashely, if you’re out there I’m ready to make you new beats. That’s right—I will save your career.

Becaues, Ash, as a music critic, unless you team with me in some sort of, I Wear The Colonel Outfit And Call The Shots way, you’re in trouble. My professional, critical opinion: if the rest of your songs are like the generic, ballin’, stay-strong junk track you’ve got up there, you should just keep your day job.

(Man, I’M ON FIRE!)

All kinds of ideas flowing here… maybe it’s time to start End Hits records? I bet with my beats and Ash’s newfound celebrity we could outsell MGMT and Yeasayer in one week! Hot damn.

Call me, honey. Let’s do it.