As a compliment to my Panther article in this week’s paper, I give you this: a whole lot of crazy quotes from my interview with Charlie Salas-Humara and Joe Kelly. They touch on art, money, cocaine, kids, Vampire Weekend and more… a lot of gems here. Check it.

On watching a tape of his solo performance

Charlie: “Yeah. I don’t like it. I’ve seen it and I feel like I’m watching a tape of me and my friends from a fifth grade birthday party acting awkward and saying really shitty, stupid things.”

Charlie on changing his role:

“Eventually I’d like to be not this person in charge—I’d like to be the background guy. I want to be the noodler—what’s the guy in the Grateful Dead? Not Jerry Garcia, the other guy. What’s that guy’s fucking name? He’s my hero. I want to be that guy.”

On adding another new member:

"For our next record we're trying to find a lady piano player/guitar player. Or a man with a very ladylike voice."

On the future and cocaine:

Charlie: "I want to play music forever. I want to tour forever. It might not make sense to do it forever. But as long as Joe wants to do it, we'll do it.

I mean, I want to have kids and I want to stop doing so much cocaine. That can be on the record, I don't care. I love cocaine. I used to do so much fucking cocaine."

How have things changed now that you're on Kill Rock Stars?

Charlie: "The change is really noticeable. In like press, and like Kill Rock Stars is a label that's been around for a while, and they have fans."

Joe: "I FEEL LIKE WE COULD BE DOING THE EXACT SAME THING WITH NO LABEL AT ALL, AND PEOPLE WOULD LISTEN TO IT AND HAVE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT REACTION NOW BECAUSE IT'S A KILL ROCK STARS BACKED THING. IT'S GOOD AND BAD, IN A WAY."

On the expectations of their sound after being in prog bands:

Charlie: "I got real tired of hearing weird time signatures. I don't think it's a bad thing... It's fun to make a change. If you were a hip hop band or whatever, and you liked country, you should be able to make a country record."

Joe: "WITH 31 KNOTS, I FELT LIKE I HAD DONE EVERYTHING I WANTED TO DO WITH THAT TYPE OF MUSIC. PEOPLE WANT TO PIGEONHOLE YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE."

On making music and money:

Charlie: "I want thing to be fun, and to have a sense of humor, but we're really serious about it. I want to make a living out of it. We work REALLY FUCKING HARD."

Joe responding: "WE DON'T WANT TO MAKE A LIVING OUT OF IT, WE JUST DON'T WANT TO WORK."

Charlie: "We're not trying to make a million bucks. That's the hard part. You want to make a living out of it but sometimes when I sit back and listen to our record and the songs come on I think, 'ooooooohhhhh yeah, we're not exactly the Foo Fighers, or even a midly poppy band that does really well.'"

On the future:

Joe: "I FEEL REALLY LUCKY AT THIS POINT THAT I'VE GOTTEN FIRED FROM SO MANY JOBS IN PORTLAND, THAT (I'VE LEARNED) NO MATTER WHAT I'M NEVER GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH, I'M ALWAYS GOING TO SOMEHOW PAY MY RENT. SHIT JUST ALWAYS WORK OUT. SO AT THIS POINT, WHEN WE'RE JUST CROSSING OUT FINGERS AND HOPING THINGS WORK OUT, I'M NOT STRESSING ABOUT IT. SOME WILL BAIL ME OUT (LAUGHS)."

Charlie on why he wants to be Vampire Weekend:

"Because they're fucking capitalists. I'll tell you why: because they represent yuppie behavior, which is so fucking cool. I love capitalism. I love Mitt Romney and I love George Bush and I want to suck the dick of the CEO of Wallmart. We're young republicans. It's as simple as that."

On paying for, or downloading music:

Charlie: "It's fine, but don't get bummed out when the culture in 10 years turns into a piece of shit and everything's like Wallmart.

The honor system doesn't work anymore. People just don't value things anymore. You go to a blog and you get shit for free. And I understand, I'm as greedy as the next person, but you have to kind of stop yourself. I want to be able to look at a painting, something that I find really beautiful and attractive and say that I shouldn't be able to own that. It should be in a museum.

I can't tell if I'm selfish on this, or if I really feel--no I really feel for the future of music and art and that it's really important.

Let's take Black Flag. I feel like I've given enough, I've probably given them at least $100. And I feel like I can take what I want for free from now on. Other than that if you like something you should buy it."

On economics:

Charlie: "I'm a socialist but it doesn't always work out."

More on music and money:

Charlie: "Of course, but I'm trying to hold on to the last bastian, getting paid for what I do. Being in a band, I think, is harder than working in a coffee shop. Dealing with these douchebag industry people--fuck, you couldn't pay me enough to put up with that. 'You should meet this person, it's going to be important for your career,' if i have to hear that and actually talk to that person and those people are shallow as fuck, and you realize there is no god and there is no art when these people are running the industry. Jesus Christ. Just give me five dollars. I want five bucks."