SYMPHONY X, EPICA, INTO ETERNITY
(Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th) Power metal conquers evil. We even have proof. Helloween (remember them?) literally defeated Satan (remember him?) at the end of 1988’s Keeper of the Seven Keys Part 2, which is why the last 20 years have been so peaceful. But when it comes to fighting methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, even power metal’s fastest tremolo-picked arpeggio sweep has no game. Practice your Segovia scales all you want—they’re just no match for the dreaded “hospital bacteria.” This is why Epica lead singer Simone Simons is bedridden in the Netherlands while the rest of her classically-influenced band are in Portland tonight. Nice of them to make sure Satan doesn’t stage a comeback specifically in these parts (apparently last weekend’s Behemoth show had them very worried). They’ve acquired a “live session lead singer” replacement—a mezzo-soprano from Michigan. Only in heavy metal can we do this. MIKE MEYER

That is one classy record cover. What is all over her skin? Tribal tattoos? I hope it’s not “hospital bacteria.” Gross.

MP3:
Epica - Consign to Oblivion (preview)