It’s only fitting that hours after I post an image of them in their glorious big haired prime, Mötley Crüe announces a Portland show, a new album, a video game promotion, blah, blah, blah… JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST LOOK AT THAT PHOTO!!!

Good Lord, it’s like Father Time raped their faces!

I know Mick Mars has been ill (Ankylosing Spondylitis, it sounds so un-rock and roll), but he looks like Death in a hat. Tommy Lee, unsurprisingly, is clutching his goods, Vine Neil looks like my Mom (before she shaved the goatee), and it would seem as if they replaced Nikki Sixx with a member of Crazytown.

Shifty Shellshock, is that you?

If you can bare the sight of it, Mötley Crüe will be at the Rose Garden on August 9th.