The last name on my live-music-that-I-must-see-at-all-costs list (No way am I calling it a “Bucket List,” more like a “Bank account? Eh, fuck it, list.”), Tom Waits took to YouTube this morning to announce his “Glitter and Doom” US tour, which (of course) is coming nowhere near Portland.

El Paso? Seriously? Have you actually ever been there? Jacksonville? You know that’s where Limp Bizkit is from, right? Time to check the frequent flier mileage to see if I have enough for a free ticket to the destination to end all destinations, Columbus, OH. Wooooo.

Tour dates after the jump. My day is ruined.

06-17 Phoenix, AZ - Orpheum
06-18 Phoenix, AZ - Orpheum
06-20 El Paso, TX - Plaza Theatre
06-22 Houston, TX - Jones Hall
06-23 Dallas, TX - Palladium
06-25 Tulsa, OK - Brady Theatre
06-26 St. Louis, MO - Fox Theatre
06-28 Columbus, OH - Ohio Theatre
06-29 Knoxville, TN - Civic Theatre
07-01 Jacksonville, FL - Moran Theatre
07-02 Mobile, AL - Saenger Theatre
07-03 Birmingham, AL - Alabama Theatre
07-05 Atlanta, GA - Fox Theatre