It happened again. I was half-asleep, bleary-eyed, shifting through the channels around 4AM last night and I saw another one of CMT’s brilliant travesties. This one featured some Boring, Bumbling, Barbie Blonde singing on the boardwalk. What made the video a possible Best of the Worst contender was the break-dancing. That’s right. There were a bunch of dudes — yes, some black — kicking their shit on the cardboard behind her. It’s insane. First time for everything, I guess. What’s next? Line-dancing in a Lil’ Wayne video?

Although the for-mentioned crossover is totally ridiculous, the poor execution of the rest of the video and the song’s un-funny and bland spin didn’t quite make the cut. Not even on a slow-news Monday would it be fair to show this video.

But I was reminded! I’ve been holding on to the mother of all fuck-ups, the king shit, bottom feeding toad, most unintentionally hilarious video of ALL TIMES. Finally, it’s time to crown this bastard, once and for all. Here it is, ladies and gentlemen, the Best of the Best of the Worst:

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy

Faux sixties freakout style, country rapping, terrible sex innuendoes, midgets, Cowboy Troy, “my old stud Leroy,” and did I mention liberal freakout style ON CMT? Oh God, it’s just so precious. “Save a Horse” is proof that the best parodies can’t be written — they are are the ones which are somehow true. The only thing that could possibly make this better would be Carmen Electra sluttin’ up the joint, hard. And maybe a Dave Navarro shirtless pedal-steel solo… Man, that’d be the fucking trifecta right there —the very worst of country (new), rap (Cowboy Troy) and rock (shirtless Dave) . On the other hand, the thought that they’d be making more money in those three minutes than I do all year would sure cause my head to implode, sucking all of North East Portland in with it.

So please, behold, Big and Rich:

And if you like, there’s another video here if you’d like to learn the lyrics.