Wow. This commercial for Buzz Cuts—“the 30 biggest and best alternative rock hits of all time on two awesome CDs”—is totally extreme. It’s like the Poochie the Dog of K-Tel commercials. Or skydiving with a snowboard on while you crack open a Mountain Dew. And a Suuuurrrrrge.

While this might be a soft target for goofing on the failing music industry, I have to give them credit for including every single thing that was ever wrong with alternative music and accurately compiling it on two CDs. What, no Hoobastank?

Oh, sorry, they are track 9.

You can’t get enough of the buzz!