This Week in the Mercury
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
News Congratulations Music Spectator!
Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Tue, Jul 8, 2008 at 1:35 PM
After that slow-moving trainwreck that was the Portland Music Awards, it was decided that we should probably cease making fun of Craig Marquardo and his narcissistic voyage into insanity (and bad musical choices), Music Spectator magazine ("The Magazine for the Portland Music Scene").
Now that the magazine has returned from its extended hiatus, Marquardo is back to releasing this absolutely baffling rag with regularity, even declaring it the "2nd largest magazine in Portland," a statement which is most likely as truthful as his comments about his "oldest friend" Sting ("I plan to spend some time with my friend Sting... We have been friends for 20 years"). But when dealing with the Smashmouth-soundtracked nonstop spiral of delusion that is Music Spectator, it's best not to question how a magazine with 5-6 ads (a few of which are most likely trades) can support a supposed 50,000 circulation.
Whatever. Logic is not important here.
What is important is Marquardo's open-minded take on hiphop ("I know, most rap acts are not even considered musicians."), his enlightened view of all-age shows ("Do we really want to press the issue and try and gain access for our children to be able to go to clubs, bars and music venues?"), and his creepy vacation plans ("On the 20th of June, I leave for the beautiful Curacao. Gonna go stay at the Superclubs there. You know...just me, a hot girl, a hammock."). Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
Craig, don't have too much fun in that hammock, we need you back in Portland to continue your stunning devotion to Portland music. Godspeed, brave Marquardo!
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