As for me, I'm holding out for the tour that pairs master of the occult Jimmy Page with sunshine-y Jesus sensation Amy Grant.
In addition to the all that hot Jew-on-Jew action (on Rosh Hashanah!), here is a list of what else is happening on this busy Tuesday evening.

LAURA MARLING, JOHNNY FLYNN, MUMFORD & SONS
(Lola's Room, 1332 W Burnside) Laura Marling is not Lily Allen or Kate Nash, despite constant comparisons to both. She is a teenage, British, female singer with a ridiculous way with words, but that is where the comparisons stop. While Allen and Nash have more pop tendencies, singing with biting wit, Laura Marling is an old soul with a haunting voice, laying down mournful songs full of love, heartache, and regret with so much conviction it's ridiculous. To think that an 18-year-old already has more figured out than you is a bit unnerving, but Marling does, and isn't afraid to bare it all openly. And, though I love Lily and Kate, something tells me Laura Marling is the name that will stand out amongst the three in the future. RS
- - - - -

AVERAGE WHITE BAND, COLIN LAKE & WELLBOTTOM
(Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie) The late preeminent soul curator Jerry Wexler acknowledged the expert groovemanship of Average White Band at first listen, signing them to Atlantic Records in the mid-'70s. Not many years later, the collage artists of the burgeoning hiphop movement tipped their hat to the Scottish band by repurposing snippets of their indelible funk. Point being, Average White Band specializes in dance-friendly licks that original members Alan Gorrie and Onnie McIntyre still churn out with the aid of some capable recruits, as their most recent live album, Soul and the City, makes head-noddingly clear. JALYLAH BURRELL
- - - - -

NOAH AND THE WHALE, LINDI ORTEGA
(Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside) This is not music for those in need of an optimism boost, but it is a nice lulling accompaniment to the impending gloom. Noah and the Whale come all the way from London to woo you with dark themes and deep throaty vocals, paired immaculately with soft folk instrumentation. Sunny tracks are not Noah and the Whale's specialty; instead, songs like "Shape of My Heart" and "If I Die Tonight" display the band's way of weaving sorrow in with the lively. Their debut album, Peaceful, the World Lays Me Down, came out in the States earlier this month, so snatch it up as your soundtrack to the long rainy months ahead. KAITLIN JOHNSON
- - - - -

THE BUG, WARRIOR QUEEN, DJ E3, RYAN ORGAN
(Rotture, 315 SE 3rd) In nearly 20 years of making music, Kevin Martin has never stuck to one genre. His past projects God, Techno Animal, and Ice range from industrial to jazz to hiphop to dub, with a list of notable co-conspirators and respectable record label affiliations too long to mention here. Under his current incarnation as the Bug, Martin is a founding influence in the London dubstep scene. Focused on the industrial and garage angles, his sound is about as severe and evil as the already menacing genre gets. A handful of outstanding, bass-driven singles from the extremely well-received London Zoo, recently released on Ninja Tune, have helped extend the reach of dubstep around the world and popularize Kingston-born emcee Warrior Queen, who joins Martin on tour. AVA
Here's one of those shirts that will get you absolutely no ass, but your college buddies with think it's the shit. It's an electronic drum kit T-shirt that's actually playable from ThinkGeek. You tap the corresponding drum or cymbal on the shirt, and suddenly you're a walking trapset. It's only $29.99, runs on 4 AA batteries, and yep... it's machine washable. Check out the video below for a fun and extraordinarily dorky exhibition. (And just think! By year's end there will be electric guitar shirts, keyboard pants, and touring "T-shirt" bands who will no longer have to lug their crap around in unsafe vans.)



Just a few bad pictures from the last time the chain lightning that is Monotonix rattled through Portland at MFNW. The show was at Satyricon. Packed to the walls. After one song a garbage can got dumped on the drummer's head. Singer climbing on everything. Crowdsurfing. Moving the drums out deeper into the audience then finally out into the street. The crowd hoists the drummer up on his bass drum and he continues to play (why don't I have a picture of this?) while the singer swings from the trees. Amazing catharsis, as always.
Monotonix are paired tonight with the Silver Jews. Never sure what will happen, though I'd get close to the band as possible, as they won't play on stage. Get there early, that is, unless you want the Silver Jews to look really boring in comparison. Monotonix are a tough, if not impossible, act to follow.
Monotonix w/ Silver Jews Tonight @ Wonder Ballroom

As we rapidly slide towards Depression II: Economic Boogaloo, it's time we place a soundtrack to this financial crisis we're in. Since we'll all be selling apples (or pencils) when everything crashes (next week, probably), we might as well set this whole thing to music.
John Avlon at Politico has an excellent article on this topic, and he even points out how the Drive-By Truckers saw it all coming. "The Righteous Path," from this year's Brighter Than Creation's Dark, describes a situation that pretty much sums up the whole mess we're in:
I got a brand-new car that drinks a bunch of gas
I got a house in a neighborhood that's fading fast...
I got a beautiful wife and three tow-headed kids
I got a couple of big secrets I'd kill to keep hid
I don't know God but I fear his wrath
I'm trying to keep focused on the righteous path
And there's more:
I got a couple of opinions that I hold dear
A whole lot of debt and a whole lot of fear...
I got a grill in the backyard and a case of beers
I got a boat that ain't seen the water in years
More bills than money, I can do the math
I'm trying to keep focused on the righteous path.
All this week the pencil-pushers at End Hits will be digging up more on this subject (all we know about finances can be summed up by this video) and posting a new song (suggestions are welcome) on this theme each day of this week. See you in the soup lines.
LISTEN:
The Drive-By Truckers - "The Righteous Path"

We know. Times are tight, what with the collapse of the dollar and the country's financial market in ruins. Chin up! Your Radio Sucks offers plenty of pleasant diversion for you, and it doesn't cost one thin dime! Listen to music from Noah and the Whale (pictured), Santogold, Born Ruffians, Narwhal vs. Narwhal, Peter Broderick, Dungen, Reporter, Brightblack Morning Light, and Ponytail. Now, if you need us, we'll be stuffing what's left of worldly possessions under the mattress.

Finally, the Decemberists and Bill Bellamy were together in the same room. I sense a collaboration is in the works.
Local top-of-the-heap popsters the Decemberists are here to tell you that winter is rapidly approaching and now is a great time to contact your local Chimbley Sweep the tale of Valerie Plame. The outed spy who was at the heart of the "weapons of mass destruction" debacle--the one that introduced the world to Scooter Libby and made us all realize that our Vice President is a snitch--makes a pretty nifty song subject, complete with the "Hey Jude"-ish harmonies at the end.
Oh, and Robert Novack can suck it.
LISTEN:
The Decemberists - "Valerie Plame"
"Valerie Plame" is the lead song from the band's new EP, Always The Bridesmaid: Volume I, due out on LP from local label Jealous Butcher, or digitally on Capitol, two weeks from today. Two additional EPs (Volume II and Volume III) will follow in November and December.
Half of me really wants to understand all the blips and bloops and psychedelic neo-hip-hop gushing out of the Anticon Records roster, unearthing therein some vibrant urban nerd mystery. You know, to keep in touch with the underbelly. And the other half of me just wants to smash everyone of their artists in the face for how unconscionably innovative they are, unearthing therein my buried musical inferiority complex. I may have issues, but so does Tobacco, and I'm not so sure that's a bad thing. His new video for "Street Trash" from his forthcoming album Fucked Up Friends is purely hyperactive static, and the video is barely suggestive pseudo-porn (which I am NOT down with, so you can link that here if you're feeling saucy and/or loaded), but you can't get beefy with a nod to Max Headroom.
After singing her praises in our current issue, there wasn't much Janelle Monae needed to do in order to capture my devotion any more than she already had. But, oh no, the sci-fi R&B superstar in the making, had to drop this insane video for "Many Moons."
The big budget video (you can thank the deep pockets of Puffy for that) incorporates her live band on-stage energy, a futuristic fashion runway theme, plus all sorts of other striking visuals (nice horse) as well. Basically it's her "November Rain," sans the guitar solo atop a grand piano.
Just two more days until that Wonder Ballroom show...

Celebrating a landmark year, the Portland Oregon Hip-Hop Festival (that's POH-HOP to you, me, and all the emcees) has just announced their lineup for this year's festivities. Year number 10 of the local festival features a wide range of performers, from battle rap champ Illmaculate, to the grinding flow of Oakland's Mistah FAB. The shows all have individual door prices (compared to the wristband/badge admission of other festivals), and are all 21-plus, with the exception of the October 24th show at Berbati's.
Let's post that lineup:
Wednesday October 22nd at Berbati's Pan
Illmaculate & Only One, Braille, Kenny Mack, Pricy, Dubble 00, 97211, Wise 1, SP, J. Kron, Majr D, Todd G, Feddi K, and Los - Hosted by DJ Fatboy
Thursday October 23rd at The Someday Lounge
The Fix (In Affilliation with POH-Hop 10) with Special Guest: Large Professor, DJ Kez, Rev. Shines, Dundiggy, and Ohmega Watts
Friday October 24th at Berbati's Pan (all ages!)
Mistah F.A.B, Maniac Lok, Liquid Assets Records (Twisted Insane, Lil Syck, and Soul P), Gray Matters, Living Proof, MYG, HI Rollerz Records (Illaj & Mikey Vegaz and T. Soprano), Chef Boyz, Alphabet Stew, Mr. D.O.G, Shaolin, and Jae Lava - Hosted by DJ Fatboy
Saturday October 25th at Ash Street Saloon
One Be Lo, Libretto, D. Black & Spaceman, The Garden, Ray Ray of G-Ism, Grynch, Syndel, Santozin, Serge Severe, Diezel P, Luck 1 Conscious, and Rapper E - Hosted by DJ Fatboy

According to the local blogists at Crappy Indie Music, Dykeritz is taking a break. Not quite indefinite hiatus, or broken-up, but somewhere in the middle of being a band and not being a band.
I did a poor job of explaining that, how about a quote?
However, I'm sad to report that Dykeritz is no longer a band. Or, perhaps I should rephrase that, Dykeritz is no longer playing live. For awhile. Although Jordan [Blum] will hopefully be back with new songs and a new lineup circa 2010.
Yes, thank you, that explained it better than I ever could.
How about a song to last us until 2010?
LISTEN:
Dykeritz - "Look At My Hands, Look At My Knees"

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band have been slotted to perform during Super Bowl XLIII, next February 1st in lovely Tampa, Florida. Take it away, Reuters:
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will play the half-time slot at the Super Bowl in Tampa, Florida, snagging the spot at the most-watched musical event of the year, according to the organizers.This year, more than 148 million viewers in the U.S. watched Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers play at the championship game of American football, the National Football League said on Sunday.
This will mark the first Super Bowl performance for the Boss, and also the first football game ever watched by half the End Hits staff. Also, write this shit down, this Super Bowl will definitely feature the St. Louis Rams and the Houston Texans. It's a lock.
After the Austin, Texas-based slowcore group Bedhead had run its course, the brothers at its core—Bubba and Matt Kadane—returned with the New Year. Since their 2001 debut they've made two more albums, their self-titled latest hitting shelves earlier this month. While much more upbeat than their earlier band, an air of melancholy and a powerful sense of focus infuses much of the New Year's music. It stops just short of heading into drone territory, but "resonant pop" might do in a pinch for a quick descriptor. And the group's name is just about perfect: It's less about the unabashed optimism one feels on January 1 as it is the sense of emerging into an unfamiliar world, defiant and bold and uncertain all at once. TC $12-13
As somebody who once found himself driving all the way to Seattle to see The New Year because they didn't make it Portland that year, I can assure you tonight's show is going to be pretty great. Especially the new material off of their latest self-titled record, which is quite possibly the most pop and straightforward they've been in their entire career.
And hell, the last time I saw them they played a Bedhead song in their encore. What more of a reason do you need to go tonight than the prospect of potentially seeing the Kadane brothers playing Bedhead songs live?
There's just no nice way to say this so I'll just do it quickly: Spectrum blows.
It was just about a year ago I got myself all hyped up to see the former Spaceman. The show was in September at Rotture and I think it was about $15 bucks. God was it a waste. I felt like I deserved a refund from Sonic Boom himself.
Along with some other yahoo, Boom basically did a hour-long guitar pedal solo. But it wasn't some shredding sort of thing, it was lackadaisical. Incredibly so. Hit a note on the keyboard, stop to smoke while it sustains, stand there, blow out some more smoke, twist a knob or two, smoke some more and there you have it--ladies and gentleman, Spectrum.
Seriously. The show nothing more than puff of smoke. Almost like having the smoke blown up your ass then being asked to pay for it. Really a waste of time and money. Awful pretension. No fucking way dude is touring on this shit if it weren't for his days in Spaceman 3. Which brings us to his former cohort, Jason Pierce, who played here just days ago.
Spiritualized was fucking brilliant. And here, restraint was used to fabulous effect. It seems ABUNDANTLY clear who had the talent in Spaceman 3.
Man, this is a little harsh for a former member of a band I hold as canonical, but harsh is how I felt after Sonic Boom fleeced me for fifteen bucks last year.
Word to the wise--this is not a rock show. It's not even really a show. It's like two dudes fucking around with keyboards in the basement, thinking their shit is sounding super profound but really they’re just fucking really high.
Thing twice before chipping in the next dime bag.

Greetings from the End Hits News Desk, where our motto is: "When news breaks, we lazily link to it. Sometimes."
We just wanted to take a moment from playing Scrabulous reporting on breaking news ("Emo Band Stuck in a Tree, footage tonight at 11") to drop a line and let you know that we finally updated our links (Look to the right! No, my right. No, other right. Ugh, nevermind). There is no better way to waste your already unproductive work day then by visiting our blog roll buddies.
We also added a "tips" box where you can send us money.
What? It's for news tips?
Goddamnit.

With a fresh self-released disc, Looking Into It, hitting the streets this past Tuesday--and summer fading fast--we damn well better post something on the All Girl Summer Fun Band.
After years of laying dormant--an era of no girls, no summer, and, most importantly, no fun--AGSFB have returned with their best, and most complete, full-length to date. The album bubbles over with bouncy pop songs anchored in the urgency of pop-punk and the over-the-top sincerity of a liberal dose of twee. It's total lovers rock (although not in that reggae way), with tons of boy ballads, heartbreak anthems, and muxtape (they're back, sort of) jams.
LISTEN:
All Girl Summer Fun Band - "This Will Never End"

There should really be a category on this blog for shows that we forget to write about. Blame our chronic use of Barbiturates, or just our complete lack of skill and professionalism, but this week we totally spaced and neglected to cover the Godmakesmonkeys release show from Kaia.
Sorry.
You might know Kaia Wilson from her time spent in Team Dresch, the Butchies, and for holding it down as an iconic performer for over 15 years now. Released on local label Jealous Butcher, Godmakesmonkeys is not Kaia's first solo recording (that came way back in 1993), but the album is a natural progression for her, one that signals her growth as a songwriter alongside a restrained presentation throughout the album.
LISTEN:
Kaia - "Dogs/Trucks"
Kaia performs tonight at Backspace with Iris Porter and Paradise Island. It's all-ages.
So yeah, the Wedding Present is coming to town tonight. If you don't realize what a big deal the Weddoes are, they bridged the gap from the Smiths to everything that came after, and revitalized the 7" single as a viable medium. Bone up on history by reading Rob's article here.
Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside, 9 pm, $15
Hey look, more birthdays this week! And while I could make a joke here about Ezra being old, emo, or sharing the same birthday as the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, I'm just going to post this Altered Images video for "Happy Birthday" instead.
Because, you know, if there is one thing Ezra loves, it's NME-hyped bands from the '80s. Seriously. Ask him about Wet Wet Wet sometime.
Oh, and what the hell, continue after the jump for the obligatory "pug in a birthday hat" photo. Just because.

Another week, another Mercury music section to read while you prepare your jet pack. It's about damn time. Now where's my hoverboard?
Janelle Monae is just your average Outkast-approved, Prince-endorsed, sci-fi obsessed, cyborg love story writing, pop star. Yup, there just aren't any musicians doing anything new these days.
LISTEN:
Janelle Monae - "Many Moons"
As a proud member of the Jew-run media, I am obligated to run at least one Jew-related music piece every week. That would explain why this paper's fanatical Steely Dan coverage only mentions Donald Fagan (chosen person), and never Walter Becker (worthless gentile). Anyway, here are the Silver Jews. (They're easy, the word is right there in the band name).
LISTEN:
Silver Jews - "Suffering Jukebox"
The Shaky Hands show a little soul. And a lot of skin. Just kidding. They're clothed. I swear!
LISTEN:
The Shaky Hands - "We Are Young"
It's been 20 years and David Gedge of the Wedding Present is still sad. You know they make medicine for this sort of thing, right? It's called gin, and it's amazing.
LISTEN:
The Wedding Present - "Don't Take Me Home Until I'm Drunk"
Oh, but we're not done. In this week's music columns, Cary talks about Temper from Benoit Pioulard, while I interview Musee Mecanique about their new album, Hold This Ghost.
LISTEN:
Benoit Pioulard - "Golden Grin"
LISTEN:
Musee Mecanique - "Two Friends Like Us"
The gents of 31Knots channeled their inner-Caligula for this E*Rock directed video for "Compass Commands," the lead single from their recent Worried Well release. It has everything we all secretly long for in a music video: A dead pig, boozing, lots of recognizable faces (members of Reporter, the Joggers, Pseudo Six, and probably more that I missed), some nifty animation, and violence.
It's like they've been reading my diary.
Especially the part with the dead pig.

Photo NOT from last night
Dr. Dog live @ Doug Fir, 9/24/08
Prior to last night I had no direct experience with Philadelphia's Dr. Dog. I'd read and heard about them, but never really listened to their music. The rumors were good though--that the group sounded like the Beatles and liked to jam. OK, well let's give it a go then. No better time than a sold out show.
Lord was I disappointed.
Dr. Dog's repetative nonsense reminded me of something Jason Pierce (Spiritualized) said in a recent interview regarding his quest for purity and truth in music:
"You could get ten people to play exactly the same then notes and nine of them might mean nothing and the rest might lift you mentally. It's not about the notes you play, it's not about the songs. It's where things hang between those notes."
And throughout Dr. Dog, I couldn't find a damn thing between the notes.
The five of them (two guitars, bass, keys and drums) just sort of stomped around without aplomb. One plodding mid-tempo saccharine pop song after another. Lifeless jams without a focal point or meaningful movement. Jams as rehearsed.
Living in mid-tempo, as Dr. Dog most certainly did, is like driving a car locked in 2nd gear--unless you've got a Ferrari (read: extraordinary gifts of composition, melody and/or talent), it's a grating bore.
In Dog I heard nothing remotely resembling the Beatles (who had the gifts enough to own mid-tempo, though they chose not to). A friend who had seen the band "since they played for four people" told me Dog's earlier records followed the Liverpudlian bent, but the influence had been trailing off as of late.
What I saw was a bunch of ex-hippie jam band wankers who thought fedoras and sunglasses would make people think they had some edge. They don't. Which isn't to say that Dr. Dog have completely disavowed their hippy roots--there was plenty of work-a-day stoners in the crowd doing the twisty arms Woodstock Wiggle.
"These guys would kill it at Bonnaroo," I said to my friend. "They do," he shot back. I think they'd do alright at the Oregon Country Fair to boot... (or is that, "to Birkenstock")
But hey, the crowd ate it up, all they way down to the white man's burden, gravelly voiced, over inflicted, bass player's drudge (to his credit, the guitarist's vocals were much more pleasant, and at times catchy).
Overall though, I just don't see it. Dr. Dog is rock at it's most re-tread and bland.

Want to go to see Calexico and the Cave Singers this Saturday at the Crystal Ballroom? Here's your chance to win a pair of tickets to the show! All you have to do is correctly answer this very challenging Calexico-related trivia question!
From what two places did Calexico take their name?Put your answer in the comments below. However, since we expect this question to be unfathomably difficult and are anticipating ZERO correct answers, please ALSO include a short reason as to why you should be the one to win these tickets.
Get those thinking caps on! Here's a little splash of Calexico to get those brain-gears turning.
LISTEN:
Calexico - "Two Silver Trees"
Good luck! Contest closes tomorrow, Thursday, September 25 at 3 pm.

For all of those who aren't obsessed with the hyperbole-soaked (Neil slags Liam! Ocean Colour Scene are the greatest band ever!!) British music mags, you might be sleeping on young Laura Marling.
Propped up to be the next big female UK singing sensation--like Lilly Allen (but more folk), Kate Nash, (but with better songs), or Amy Winehouse (but, you know, not high on crack)--Marling is a mere 18 years of age and her Mercury Prize-nominated debut, Alas, I Cannot Swim, is a polite evolution of the singer-songwriting genre from a voice who won't be fading from the pop music horizon, or the British press, anytime soon.
Interested? Well, gosh, then aren't you in luck? Marling will be performing an intimate show on
Tuesday, September 30th at Lola's Room and we have a pair of tickets to giveaway to not one, but two, readers.
Just comment below on why you think you deserve the tickets, and an all-star panel of judges will pick the best two responses. You must be 21 and over to win--so Marling could not win tickets to her own concert--and all comments must be posted by tomorrow by 4pm. Good luck, and don't miss Marling at this tiny show. Next time she rolls through town, I have a feeling it will be at a much larger venue.
LISTEN:
Laura Marling - "Failure"
Our pals at The Penny Jam have done it again. They've keep the cameras rolling as local acts perform everywhere from a dollar store to OMSI, and now they filmed the boys of Starfucker getting down to "Dance Face" at Rudy's Barbershop.
For all of those who have wanted to yell "cut your damn hair" to the band, this was your best opportunity. But, alas, the locks went uncut as the band freaked out all over the barbershop, then later they all tried this new to die for conditioner that gets their bedhead just right.
Watch, rinse, repeat.