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Monday, February 23, 2009

Let's Talk About... Let's Vent

Posted by Andrew R Tonry on Mon, Feb 23, 2009 at 3:57 PM

8db3/1235433733-1davenafuckyou.jpg
Is this what rock and roll looks like?

Sure, it's a little slow right now. Few albums and fewer shows in the approaching days make it hard to drum up decent coverage, much-less excitement. And yeah, something about today's rain and grey feels especially rotten and slow, more like a second Sunday. But dammit, even if CD burning, record pressing, and tour van maintaining technologies are somehow lost forever, it's still not OK to talk about a Jane's Addiction reunion as if it matters.

Jane's addiction suck now and they sucked then.

Just the worst no talent hustle. Reject hippie-dippie lyrics heisted from coffee-shop poetry slam trash can. Crap musicians, crap posturing, and crap-filled leather pants. Sold-out, pussed-out, burned out pampered yuppie dad-rock appears back at the coffee-shop all night ecstasy rave with a useless, melted brain. See you at the weed expanding cosmos bong shop tapestry eating conspiracy blubbering faux mind expansion own-dick-sucking barb-wire tattoo having tramp stamp dude is crazay in make up fucking two nasty girls at the same time with his bro watching while sublime cranks in the background get out of system brah fuck you all!

NO!

Consider this the beginning of a life-long No Dave Navarro policy. I could go on (and on) but I wont. The moratorium begins now. The only thing dude needs is more daily prank calls, like he used to get from Buddyhead:

At the beggining of 2006, Travis and Joe Burns thought it would be a great idea to call Dave Navarro every day. Nine times out of ten Dave would pick up the phone and be a good sport about it. The calls would usually start a little something like this… “YEAH DAVE WHATS UP? IT’S BUCKETHEAD, LET’S JAM ON “WHORES” RIGHT NOW BRO! ME, YOU, PERKINS AND THAT WEIRD SINGER DUDE FROM PANIC CHANNEL! YEAAAAH! GRAB ONE OF YOUR KILLER PARKER FLY AXES AND MEET US AT MATES, LEAVE THE SHIRT AT HOME!”

 

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Andrew R. Tonry, you are very often wrong. But in this post, you are 100-percent, couldn't-be-more right.

One of the worst bands of all time, without question.
Posted by yum yum cult on February 23, 2009 at 9:54 PM · Report

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