This Week in the Mercury
Monday, November 16, 2009
Contest Win Tickets to Wolfmother!
Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Mon, Nov 16, 2009 at 11:15 AM
Created in a lab using the DNA of Bonzo, a mud shark, and Jimmy Page's wizard outfit, Wolfmother are the closest thing we're going to get to Led Zeppelin. The Australian quartet has albums that are five times platinum in their home country, a handful of hit singles, and often play to crowds that look like this. Damn.
Now you can be part of their crowd—albeit much smaller and less Australian—as we are parting with a pair of tickets to see Wolfmother at the Roseland Theater this Thursday. Just comment below on why you deserve the win these tickets, and the best response by tomorrow (Tuesday!) at noon will be the winner. If commenting is too hard, tickets are still available here. Also, if you win (or buy) your way into this show, do not miss openers Heartless Bastards. They are fantastic.
LISTEN:
Wolfmother - "Woman"
1
My boss is driven to apoplexy by the song Woman. It gives him an earworm for days. If I win, I promise I will take him.
3
My Son digs these dudes hugely. I don't really listen to them. I can't afford the tickets. His mom spends all the child support on trips to thailand, and if not all of it, she would get him tickets and not tell him where the dough came from. This would be cooler than going a cheap movie at avalon.
4
I am incapable of growing hair as rock-and-roll as Andrew Stockdale. I wish to live vicariously through his long, curly locks.
5
I was raised by wolves and my wolf parents were killed in order to "resuce" me. Seeing Wolfmother in person is the closest I'll ever get to a family reunion.
6
I flew to Las Vegas on Friday with the intention of spending the weekend doing a little gambling, seeing the sights, and maybe catching a lounge act or two. Note, I've never been to Vegas before.
When I arrived at the Las Vegas airport, I deboarded and proceeded to the luggage claim area. I waited for my bag and then I finally saw i. Well, at least I thought I saw it. I grabbed "my" bag and saw that there was a huge slice in the side. The clothing poking out was clearly not mine and I quickly figured out that it was somebody else's bag, so I put it back on the carousel. *My* bag came by a few minutes later, I grabbed it and went on my way.
As I was headed out of the airport to catch a taxi, I heard somebody yelling at me to stop. I turned around and saw 5, count them 5, security guards running toward me. Needless to say, I didn't bother to run. I really didn't have a reason to.
To make a long story short, I spent the better part of the weekend in custody explaining why I was attempting to smuggle both 2 pounds of marijuana and some sort of Ecuadorian lizard into Las Vegas.
I had to speak with exactly 6 different people, interrogators if you will, and the conversation went something like this:
Authority: Did you think you could get away with this?
me: There must be a mistake, there's no marijuana in my suitcase, or a lizard for that matter!
Authority: Where were you planning to take the case?
me: It wasn't my case!
Authority: Did you pick up a suitcase with a tear in it?
me: Yes, then I realized it wasn't my suitcase.
Authority: Why'd you pick up the suitcase if it wasn't yours?
me: Because it looked just like mine. I put it back when I realized it wasn't mine.
Authority: Your finger prints are all over that suitcase.
me: Yeah, because I picked it up!
Authority: Why'd you pick it up?
me: I already told you, it looked just like my suitcase.
Authority: Uh-huh.
me: If you set the two suitcases side by side, you'll see that they're very similar.
Authority: Wait here.
I thought it was funny that they told me to wait there. It wasn't as if I could leave. And yes, I did try the door handle.
I had landed in Vegas at 9 p.m. on Friday night. I was released from custody at 3 a.m. on Sunday morning. After being awake and sleeping with my head on my hands on a flimsy table, the last thing I wanted to do was go gamble, go sight seeing, or go watch a lounge act. I went to a hotel room, took a shower, slept for 10 hours, and then flew home.
During the entire procedure, I wasn't allowed to call a lawyer because I was never put under arrest. When I'd argue that I should be allowed to go, I was reminded that I could be put under arrest. When I'd say "then arrest me!", I just got more questions about why I picked up the case and where I was taking the drugs and why I had a lizard, etc.
After all was said and done, I never did get an apology, nor did I get to see the marijuana or the lizard. Happily, my cell phone was returned to me undamaged, though the tracks on my mp3 player were erased. I still can't figure that one out. The best I got was "Turns out you're telling the truth, you're free to go." For all I know, I was on a new game show seeing how far they could test the patience of people.
So, my Vegas trip was a bust and I don't plan on going to Vegas again any time soon. But, seeing Wolfmother would be freaking fantastic. Much better, I assume, then having two pounds of weed and an Ecuadorian lizard.
More...
When I arrived at the Las Vegas airport, I deboarded and proceeded to the luggage claim area. I waited for my bag and then I finally saw i. Well, at least I thought I saw it. I grabbed "my" bag and saw that there was a huge slice in the side. The clothing poking out was clearly not mine and I quickly figured out that it was somebody else's bag, so I put it back on the carousel. *My* bag came by a few minutes later, I grabbed it and went on my way.
As I was headed out of the airport to catch a taxi, I heard somebody yelling at me to stop. I turned around and saw 5, count them 5, security guards running toward me. Needless to say, I didn't bother to run. I really didn't have a reason to.
To make a long story short, I spent the better part of the weekend in custody explaining why I was attempting to smuggle both 2 pounds of marijuana and some sort of Ecuadorian lizard into Las Vegas.
I had to speak with exactly 6 different people, interrogators if you will, and the conversation went something like this:
Authority: Did you think you could get away with this?
me: There must be a mistake, there's no marijuana in my suitcase, or a lizard for that matter!
Authority: Where were you planning to take the case?
me: It wasn't my case!
Authority: Did you pick up a suitcase with a tear in it?
me: Yes, then I realized it wasn't my suitcase.
Authority: Why'd you pick up the suitcase if it wasn't yours?
me: Because it looked just like mine. I put it back when I realized it wasn't mine.
Authority: Your finger prints are all over that suitcase.
me: Yeah, because I picked it up!
Authority: Why'd you pick it up?
me: I already told you, it looked just like my suitcase.
Authority: Uh-huh.
me: If you set the two suitcases side by side, you'll see that they're very similar.
Authority: Wait here.
I thought it was funny that they told me to wait there. It wasn't as if I could leave. And yes, I did try the door handle.
I had landed in Vegas at 9 p.m. on Friday night. I was released from custody at 3 a.m. on Sunday morning. After being awake and sleeping with my head on my hands on a flimsy table, the last thing I wanted to do was go gamble, go sight seeing, or go watch a lounge act. I went to a hotel room, took a shower, slept for 10 hours, and then flew home.
During the entire procedure, I wasn't allowed to call a lawyer because I was never put under arrest. When I'd argue that I should be allowed to go, I was reminded that I could be put under arrest. When I'd say "then arrest me!", I just got more questions about why I picked up the case and where I was taking the drugs and why I had a lizard, etc.
After all was said and done, I never did get an apology, nor did I get to see the marijuana or the lizard. Happily, my cell phone was returned to me undamaged, though the tracks on my mp3 player were erased. I still can't figure that one out. The best I got was "Turns out you're telling the truth, you're free to go." For all I know, I was on a new game show seeing how far they could test the patience of people.
So, my Vegas trip was a bust and I don't plan on going to Vegas again any time soon. But, seeing Wolfmother would be freaking fantastic. Much better, I assume, then having two pounds of weed and an Ecuadorian lizard.
7
Back in middle school, my English teacher showed our class Wolfmother's first album. I was hooked. Me and my teacher rocked out many times to these fellows over the course of the year. Now, being a senior and thoroughly enjoying Wolfmother's new album, this would be a great opportunity to see these legends as well as a break from the studies. Can't go wrong with a break from the studies =D
8
I was on a quiznos commercial were I had to pretend to suck at the tit of a wolf in order to prove that I was raised by wolves, cuz why else wouldn't one like quiznos right?? To prepare for the role, for an entire week I did everything imaginable to become a wolf: walked on all fours, ate raw meat, bit many people, howled at the moon, sniffed a lot of ass, but the most important factor in me getting that role was discovering Wolfmother. During my research for becoming one with the wolves, I discovered within myself a powerful urge, a need really, to become a man-wolf incarnate, and I just know that seeing Wolfmother live would fulfill my destiny and complete my transformation.
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