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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Win Tickets to See Band of Horses and She & Him!!!

Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Tue, Mar 2, 2010 at 2:40 PM

shehorses.jpeg

Holy smokes! In what might be our greatest contest ever, we are parting with four tickets to witness the only Oregon performance from Band of Horses and She & Him, Sunday May 30th at the Les Schwab Amphitheater in Bend. This Memorial Day Weekend show is a co-headlining treat that'll feature the beards and reverb of the Horsies, plus the crushable She & Him duo of M.Ward and Zooey Deschanel. After the show, both bands will take a skinnydip with you in the Deschutes River. Guaranteed*!

So how can these four (!) tickets be yours? Simple, just comment below and explain why you deserve to win them. Tell us a story, make a joke, beg and plead, write some Zooey Deschanel fan fiction... the options are endless. Just post your comment before this Thursday at 5pm.

If contests are not your bag, just buy your tickets before they sell out. Presale starts this Friday at 10am and lasts until 5pm. You'll need this super secret password (GHOST) for the presale, or you can just risk it and wait until 10am on Saturday when the remaining tickets will be available. Good luck.

* Not guaranteed!

 

Comments (44) RSS

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1
Well - no shit! - there I was. Stuck on the east coast for Christmas because of the farkin' blizzard. I was just trying to get home for the holidays, but I had a layover in JFK and just couldn't get out again. The mobs at the airport were freakin' out, trying to get on the standby lists. I saw a round lady and her five little kids all yelling in unison at one poor ticket agent, like a choral group out of hell.

Sure, I was upset as any of them, but with thousands of people stuck and no planes flying, I didn't see any benefit in standing around and yelling at strangers. After the 8-hour flight in, I was drained like a public pool in winter, so I took the train into the city. I didn't have the energy to make any solid plans, but I figured I'd find a hot toddy somewhere and try to forget about the family time that I was missing back in Portland.

Well, I'm a bumpkin from Oregon, so it only took NYC about five minutes to chew me up and spit me out. At very the first stop, right before the doors closed again, two guys grabbed my suitcases and jumped off the train, leaving me trapped inside as it rolled away. Honestly, by this time I didn't have the spark left to chase them down - I just wanted to go to sleep right there in the train, and hope that the world would somehow be ALL BETTER when I woke up.

Got off the train in Manhattan, and hey - guess what should have occurred to me before I left the airport? It turns out that most places aren't open late-night on Christmas Eve. I couldn't get my hot toddy, couldn't find dinner, and the first three hotels I tried - and could afford! - were full up. I started laughing, now, the way some people do when they go to meet their hangman. Why NOT spend Christmas night sleeping in an alley in NYC, covered over in cardboard behind a closed Chinese restaurant? Sure, I was a happy man only a few hours ago, but who's to say the world can't end that quickly?

It was snowing pretty heavily, and I stumbled down the sidewalk, just aimlessly following the crowds. I thought I saw some kind of parade up ahead, so I headed towards it. It was the strangest thing, though - no parade, just one blonde girl standing on a sleigh all by herself. She was just standing there, and I couldn't understand why so many people had stopped to watch - until she started singing.

Beautiful voice! It was incredible to hear - snapped me out of my funk and made me want to sing along. Everyone did, the entire crowd of crusty New Yorkers stuck in the night snow - everyone lit up when she started singing, and we were - I shit you not - suddenly merry. I'll never forget that angel singing on that dark night.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Foeeq4Sfwrg
More...
Posted by Reymont on March 2, 2010 at 3:09 PM · Report
2
Top three reasons I deserve the tix plus one bonus reason...1) I have never attempted to grow a beard/nor 'stash because it'd never be as good as the follicle groupings of BOH members; 2) I do a tribute to the whiney howl of BOH to the annoyance of my wife; 3) staring a zoey deschanel provides a feeling similar to the schadenfreude of watching someone repeatedly getting kicked in the crotch; 4) I'm pretentious enough to use the word "schadenfreude" with a straight face.
Posted by sopdx on March 2, 2010 at 3:11 PM · Report
3
I was holding my pet turtle in my hand, at about chest height talking to her sweetly to try to get her to relax. You see, my other pet turtle had been feeling frisky and in trying to position himself for some turtle-lovin' had managed to get his foot stuck in the back of her shell and she had been dragging him around the tank for about an hour! (Turtle dominatrix?)
I was fearing for his leg so I thought it time to intervene.
It was Sunday morning so I wasn't really dressed - just some sleep shorts and a tank top and a cup of coffee. But back to the real story - There I was, talking sweetly, holding both turtles gently, trying to get her to relax and open her shell...when suddenly, the cat meowed, the turtle spooked, stuck out her head and bit! ME! Right on the nipple! Ahhhh!!!!! I thought it was pierced and could barely stand up from the pain. You see, turtles don't let go when they bite, either. They just HOLD ON TIGHT! Until they are relaxed...hold still, hold very very still hold still, breathe...were my only thoughts before things started to get fuzzy...Luckily my roommate walked in and had a really good laugh at me - holding a turtle attached to a turtle attached to my boob. Yes, it's true. My poor nip was a funny flat shape for a few weeks, but I had barely avoided a piercing by turtle. I still have that pet turtle, Rock. We've been together for 30 adventurous years...
Posted by fuzzyblackears on March 2, 2010 at 3:23 PM · Report
4
If I buy these tickets @portlandmercury will loose repect for my musical taste and prowess. Which is ample!

"Win tickets to see She & Him and Band of Horses. Then work on developing some musical taste. "

But I NEED them because my wife loves these bands.

I will make a deal with you, give me the tickets and I will retweet you once. I will even lie and say you are funny.

Posted by maestrojed on March 2, 2010 at 3:24 PM · Report
5
I deserve to win because I live in Fresno. Have you ever been to Fresno? Enough said.
Posted by Christine-a-ling on March 2, 2010 at 3:31 PM · Report
6
I deserve these tickets because the staff of the Mercury hate me and want bad things to happen to me.

See, back in my Seattle days I was friends with the guys in this band called "Horses". I thought their band name was awful and their music boring. But because I was their friend, I went to a bunch of their shows. At one memorable show we raided the green room for that guy from Iron & Wine and stole some cold cuts. But I never liked their music. You can't dance to it. You can barely drink to it. I guess you could cry to it. I don't know.

So if you give these tickets to me, I'll feel obligated to go. And I won't have a good time. And then you can all laugh at me. Isn't spite and schadenfraude good enough motivation?
Posted by Graham on March 2, 2010 at 3:46 PM · Report
7
I want them to give to my sister who is an extremely huge "She & Him" fan, unfortunately she cannot afford to buy the tickets because she has been laid off for over a year. My sister is an amazing and very hard working high-school teacher who has suffered because of the hard economy and if anyone deserves an awesome night on the town with her husband and best friends - it would be my sister, and I would freakin love to provide it to her.
Posted by Mellower on March 2, 2010 at 3:57 PM · Report
8
I have pictures of your mom, Ezra, nekkid pictures. Plus I'm not a total douche, just douchey-ish. Middle fingers to all you witty little dandys and sob story bastards, free tickets go to the strong and angry!
Posted by GTPYL on March 2, 2010 at 4:33 PM · Report
9
I deserve to win these tickets because:

1) my wife has a musical boner for Band of Horses,
and
2) I have a boner for Zoey Deschanel. strike that. for my wife, I mean. really.

Win/Win.
Posted by cevansc222 on March 2, 2010 at 4:44 PM · Report
10
My identical twin sister has some weird girl crush/personal vendetta on Zoey. She's been down in the dumps and I could use some excitement, so I figure if we make it to the show, my sis can find the She, drug her and convince her that we are actually triplets (there is a fair resemblance) and we can finally start The Thompson Trio we have always dreamed of (our baby sister is too short to reach the microphone).
Posted by gingi on March 2, 2010 at 4:53 PM · Report
11
Those who live in grass houses shouldn't get stoned.
Posted by Buff Orfington on March 2, 2010 at 4:55 PM · Report
12
My wifey-poo and I had our first dance to a BOH song, awe... Free tickets could help her deal with the fact that she married a dead beat, who doesn't have enough money to buy her tickets to the show.
Posted by DLS 3.0 on March 2, 2010 at 5:05 PM · Report
13
Hey, my girlfriend and I are going through tuff times (she lost her job and had to go back to school and her cat has been real sick), this show would be a nice thing on the horizon to keep the fire alive, part of a nice early summer trip.

Please for the love of M. Ward, End Hits... SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP!
Posted by wwwilliamdo on March 2, 2010 at 6:54 PM · Report
14
Give me these tickets or I will club this baby seal to death!

http://www.hickerphoto.com/data/media/40/b…

I'll do it!
Posted by econoline on March 2, 2010 at 7:45 PM · Report
15
here's a pity story for you and also why i deserve the tickets. you see, i was born on january 19th 1989 and had full congenital heart block and had a 10% chance at living so the doctors had no choice but to give me a pacemaker so that my heart beat would be able to be regulated since this could not be done on its own. now i have had my pacemaker changed about four times since the initial one when i was first born. this last one however was different from the rest. with this last change of pacemakers they took out the old one from my abdomen and placed the new one in my left pectoral. all seemed to be going well, that was until a few weeks later when my incision on my abdomen started to get a bit of pus emanating from it on the weekend of the 16th and 17th of january, before the mlk day holiday. so i went to the doctors the following tuesday, january 19th, which as stated above is the day of my birth. now this birthday was the one that most look forward to, my twenty first. so it was my twenty first birthday and i was rather psyched to finally be able to go out and have a night life, however when i went to see the doctors that day, they said i had to be admitted to the hospital. and that is where i spent that night and the next nine days, unable to do any sort of celebration for making it to twenty one. i also got far behind in classes at the university of oregon, going from four classes down to currently one class, just because i got too far behind because of it being the middle of the term. i think life took a bit of a shit on me with respect to this incident, and i think that getting these tickets would help clean up some of the shit that life left on me. so what do you say?
Posted by kaleipdx on March 2, 2010 at 8:18 PM · Report
16
Meeeee. Why? Because not a single person in all 14 comments above mine has spelled Zooey right.

Also, that concert is the day after my BIRTHDAY! And all my friends are gonna be out of town for my birthday so I really want something to look forward to.
Posted by librarianjess on March 2, 2010 at 8:31 PM · Report
17
I enjoy these bands more than my wife and my 3 daughters *they'd all attend the show*.
It's time to masculate the emasculine.
Posted by egads on March 2, 2010 at 9:46 PM · Report
18
I want to see these bands before I lose my eyesight. I found out one year ago that I have a rare neurological condition that causes symptoms that mimic a brain tumor; however, there is no surgery that can fix the problem and no cure. My memory is crap, my vision is slowly fading, and the pressure inside my skull can be worse than a migraine. Treatments are almost as bad as the illness. BOH and S&H would be better than any medicine. Please please, pretty please...
Posted by nbrown257 on March 3, 2010 at 12:50 AM · Report
19
I don't think I deserve them but I really really want them!!
Posted by easybeav on March 3, 2010 at 2:28 AM · Report
20
Don't even THINK about giving them to me. I don't want them. Fuck off.
Posted by lisalisa on March 3, 2010 at 2:32 AM · Report
21
If you give me tickets, I swear I’ll keep a distance from the stage that is consistent with the most recent restraining order delivered to me by Zoe’s lawyers, and will also cease and desist all stalking activities in both cyber and physical space. Also, when in small towns, I’ll look people in the eye, and wave as they drive by.
Posted by broadusc on March 3, 2010 at 7:11 AM · Report
22
The other day I was brushing my merkin when a golf ball sailed into the window of my second story apartment. Startled and vulnerable I picked up the ball. To my surprise it was in fact a Tiger Woods golf ball.

I know! What are the chances that at the same moment I am brushing my good mirken a Tiger Woods golf ball comes sailing into my apartment? I couldn’t believe it either.

So here I am with my mirken in one had and Tiger Woods’ ball in the other and, this is the truth, Fatal Attraction comes on!

I think you know what I’m getting at. My mirken, Tiger’s ball and Glenn Close all got me humming:

When things were a little bit clearer
When you got nearer
I shied from your touch
Now that I know what I want, see,
I think that it haunts me,
I want you too much

Did I mention I was on a horse while all this happened?
Posted by ispyhannah on March 3, 2010 at 9:08 AM · Report
23
do you think the main guy makes all the other dudes wear bell bottoms?
Posted by charlie on March 3, 2010 at 9:13 AM · Report
24
Things you could do with an OLIVE:

1) Put it into a Martini.
2) Chop it up and insert into a tuna casserole.
3) Squeeze it and harvest the oil. Then fry falafel in the oil.
4) Brine the olive.
5) Can it.
6) Jar it.
7) Stuff it.
8) Eat it.

Ezra…seen your dog lately?
Posted by Dino might? on March 3, 2010 at 10:13 AM · Report
25
I deserve these tickets because I've been a big fan of M. Ward since before he was a glimmer in Newsweek's eye, because Grandaddy covered his "Fishing Boat Song" on a 7" back in 2000.

And I, too, once suffered life in Fresno (which incidentally is when I discovered Grandaddy).
Posted by tk. on March 3, 2010 at 11:39 AM · Report
26
The last time I tried to receive something from the Merc was when a stray kitten needed a home! I sent my email and started getting all giddy about the prospect of a new member of the family. Alas, you folks had already found it a home.

How can I soothe my broken heart? By seeing Band of Horses in Central Oregon!
Posted by ($8239f8h248cerfehjf23@&*@ebdjhb23f237OCDBO#BD*(# on March 3, 2010 at 12:04 PM · Report
27
I'm a musician and producer here in Portland. I'm pretty good at what I do but you've never heard of me. I had the pleasure of meeting Zooey once at a party in LA and we talked about jazz standards, meat sandwiches, Journey and the possibility of making a record together. She was a delightful, charming and funny person. She has a dorky laugh. She has this way of looking at you with these wide eyes like she's the one nervous to meet you and not the other way around, and it just kills me. I always had the hugest crush on her (who could not?) and that night I thought that my dream of working with her would finally come true. Well, as they say, you snooze, you lose and that bastard M ward swooped down and beat me to the punch before the record could begin production. Oh well. They are good together. I'm happy for them. Really I am. I wish them the very best. I write her letters now, but I never hear back. I think I've sent about twenty five total...

My dream of making a record with Zooey didn't come true. If you throw me a bone and give me the tickets, at least I could see them live and imagine what it might have been like if it was me up there instead of "Him." And maybe I'll throw a plastic bottle at his head.
Posted by Spacecadet2008 on March 3, 2010 at 5:13 PM · Report
28
So, May 21st is our 5th wedding anniversary, and we are taking a little trip to celebrate the Memorial Day weekend in Bend. I (the wife) am in a Master's program that consumes my life, and by defalt my husband's life too. Because I am in school, we are broke, and I have no time to do the thing I once loved so much: see shows! I saw that Band of Horses and She and Him are playing, I thought this would be a rad present to my husband for being awesome, especially this past school year. (Its a damn good wife taking by husband to see the adorable Zoey Deschanel as a Anniversary present, right!)

Anyway, in the name of love and brokeness, please give me those tickets! I will share the other two tickets with equally broke folks who are huge fans of both She and Him and Band of Horses. Promise.
Posted by Dyea! on March 3, 2010 at 7:09 PM · Report
29
Because me and Spacecadet2008 made a deal that we would take each other if one of us wins. I can't beat his comment.
Posted by Rachele on March 3, 2010 at 7:33 PM · Report
30
If you give me these tix, I will yodel at the winter moon. Whilst riding a she-wolf. I will be that happy. But I will stay away from her teats.

Please, oh please, oh please. I'm short on cash and long on love-- of these bands!
Posted by jamierose on March 3, 2010 at 9:33 PM · Report
31
I woke this morning... My leg bloodied and crusted by the giddyup of my spur on my tattered boot. Now I lie in this long grass, my noble steed hazy in the distance. My only comfort now is a half empty whiskey bottle and the warm sun on my back. If I win these tickets I will arrive on horseback. My beard blowing in the wind...
Posted by xcalibr8 on March 3, 2010 at 11:21 PM · Report
32
the chances of me winning these tickets are going to TOTALLY depend on who's judging. But here goes.

See, I have a "One Who Got Away." A girl who I still can't really look at without going all jello; The hottest girl I've ever seen naked, to this day; A girl who no matter who else I'm dating or how much fun I'm having, will never, ever be outdone. Unfortunately, the nature of The One Who Got Away is that we met at ridiculously inappropriate times in our lives, loved each other dearly and then, of course, had a painful and gut wrenching breakup because we both needed to get our shit together, grow up, have our own adventures, etc.

Fast forward a little bit. She's breaking up with her crazy, ridiculously wrong-for-her date. I'm around. She starts wanting to hangout again. She wants to see this show. She mentions I could try to win us tickets...

Is this a mistake and upon winning tickets to this show could I be headed for a shit storm of emotional turmoil and heartache? Probably. Wanna be an accomplice? give love a chance? M. Ward and Zooey would surely approve.

The other two tickets will go to my finest wingmen who will surely laugh at all my jokes, be generally awesome and get me stupid whiskey drunk if things go horribly awry.
Posted by hotshawty420 on March 4, 2010 at 12:27 PM · Report
33
You should choose me for the tickets, so I have somewhere memorable to propose to my girlfriend. And I only need two tickets, so you can give the other two to someone else that deserves them. We'll even invite you to the wedding. Open bar.
Posted by gbuchanan08 on March 4, 2010 at 1:04 PM · Report
34
I work at a cemetery... For reals.
Band of Horses has a cemetery-friendly album (is there a ghost, the funeral), and I have finally turned my less-than-uplifting staff onto She and Him. Both bands get me through my job (which i am greatful for).
Help a local grave digger out... I need to win some friends over.
Posted by nwpdxdigger on March 4, 2010 at 1:51 PM · Report
35
I think I should have the tickets to the She & Him and Band of Horses show in Bend so I can redeem myself from some past mistakes. You see, the first and last time I've been to a show at the ampitheater in Bend was a show 2 years ago on Memorial Day weekend. It was the Breeders and Modest Mouse but what really made the show memorable was the time spent with my (now ex-) girlfriend. We were together almost 2 years and have a rich history filled with love for great music. I'm sure she still remembers seeing M. Ward for the first time at the Aladdin (opening for YLT?) in what still remains to be one of the best live performances ever. I was not the best to her to some degree-- which is not to say that I wasn't a caring, compassionate friend and lover-- but I rarely went out of my way to make her feel special. I was something of an ass, and I'd love to make it up to her... and this would be a great way for us to come full circle and return to an earlier time in our history when things were sweet, innocent, and pure. Plus, she has a huge crush on Zooey, and I'd like to make her swoon again.
Posted by 4theloveofbeards on March 4, 2010 at 3:05 PM · Report
36
I think I should have the tickets to the She & Him and Band of Horses show in Bend so I can redeem myself from some past mistakes. You see, the first and last time I've been to a show at the ampitheater in Bend was a show 2 years ago on Memorial Day weekend. It was the Breeders and Modest Mouse but what really made the show memorable was the time spent with my (now ex-) girlfriend. We were together almost 2 years and have a rich history filled with love for great music. I'm sure she still remembers seeing M. Ward for the first time at the Aladdin (opening for YLT?) in what still remains to be one of the best live performances ever. I was not the best to her to some degree-- which is not to say that I wasn't a caring, compassionate friend and lover-- but I rarely went out of my way to make her feel special. I was something of an ass, and I'd love to make it up to her... and this would be a great way for us to come full circle and return to an earlier time in our history. Plus, she has a huge crush on Zooey, and I'd like to make her swoon again.
Posted by 4theloveofbeards on March 4, 2010 at 3:08 PM · Report
37
Being a gay man in a city that is hardly liberal, it is hard to find time for myself. Myself and three other girlfriends would love these tickets for many reasons. Oppression faced on a daily basis would be one reason why I not only want, but deserve these tickets. As a single man, I would love to attend this show, not only to see amazing artists, but to find a potential (bearded?) hottie. Who knows, maybe Mat Brooke will spot my hot bod and be my first kiss. If all else fails, Zooey will do. PS I also deserve it because I know how to spell her name right.
Posted by kris412 on March 4, 2010 at 4:17 PM · Report
38
Cried all night till there was nothing more,

What use am I as a heap on the floor?

Heaving devotion, but it's just no good,

Piece of the puzzle and these tickets are my missing part!!
Posted by kris412 on March 4, 2010 at 4:24 PM · Report
39
A few weeks ago I had an ear infection that ended up bursting my eardrum. When a friend asked how my eardrum burst, I told him his tranny mom jizzed too hard in my ear. There was silence on the other end of the line.

I’d like to test out the otic range of my recently healed eardrum at Band of Horses.
Posted by OMO on March 4, 2010 at 4:52 PM · Report
40
ummm....

Ezra? Did I win?
Posted by Dino might? on March 5, 2010 at 2:07 AM · Report
41
Missed the deadline, but I think hotshawty420 (despite the name) should win. M. Ward an Zooey would definitely approve.
Posted by megchase on March 5, 2010 at 11:21 AM · Report
42
Who won these GOD DAMN tickets!!!
Posted by lisalisa on March 9, 2010 at 8:28 PM · Report
43
Sooo.... I haven't heard from you guys. But I'm pretty sure I had the winning comment.... I'll be waiting. by my computer. and phone. in my house. with rainbowchip frosting. and graham crackers.
Posted by ispyhannah on April 16, 2010 at 1:44 PM · Report
44
The reason I need these tickets is because... The show at First Avenue in Minneapolis is sold out - PLUS it's my only shot to have a gang bang with all member of BOH AND possibly Ben Gibbard to boot (if he's at the show to support ZD). Also, did I mention I look a lot like Zooey? It will be confusing for all of us. I can hardly wait! <3 TICKETS! ME!
Posted by berg1561 on May 19, 2010 at 6:39 PM · Report

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