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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Let's Talk About... Letter of the Day!

Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Tue, Jul 27, 2010 at 2:04 PM

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Oh boy! Letter of the day! There are quite a few red flags here (the use of the word "faggot" to describe something other than a collections of sticks, the extreme May/December romance, people still listening to Deadbolt), but we'll let Mercury reader Jocelyn have her say:

Dear Portland Mercury. I have a problem. I am and 18 year old working girl, and I have been living with my boyfriend who is 44 years of age for eight or nine months now. Now, we are both great purveyors of music, and love to go to shows and events that this great city has to offer, but I can't get into any of them. And why is this you might ask? No, not because I am a wanted fugitive or a leper. Because of my age. Some might say that they make all of the good shows 21 and up so that they don't have to "deal with any children," and what would anyone who can't buy a beer know about good music anyways? Well, then I would tell these people, and the venues that are booking these shows that cater to these uppity "I'm all grown up and soooo mature with my mustache, bike, and old flannel shirt" faggots, that because of you and your pretnetious old senile ways, I have had to miss out on Deadbolt, The Red Elvises, Concrete Blonde, the good stuff at The Rose City Roundup, and countless shows at other local venues. Not to mention that I have to miss The Reverend Horton Heat show, that is playin with who? Oh yeah. HILLSTOMP. And what else about that day? It's on my boyfriends birthday. Only what is going to be the greatest show ever with two of my favorite music performers, and not only can I not go see it, but I can't but tickets as a present either. Because not only can I not go to these 21 and up shows, but my boyfriend, who loves me dearly, doesn't want to leave at home while he goes to see some of the great music of our time. Because that would be fucked up.

Anyways Portland Mercury, maybe the next time you are out interviewing the next "supercool band from Portland that is super cool 'cause they play a banjo and even eat at your favorite food cart" you could tell them to talk to their venues. 'Cause theses venues are loosing at least two consumers, not to mention countless others that might be in similar or at least understanding situations. Or at least at the few and far between all ages shows that are worth going to, thay can get rid of that stupid fucking dividing thing. I saw a show at the Wonder Ballroom a few months ago with that shit, and all three of the bands that played hardly even looked at the side where they were allowing allages to be present. So that really sucked. And if they won't listen or change they're ways, maybe you could do a fundraiser to get me an I.D. I'll buy one of those local fancy beers.

 

Comments (4) RSS

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1
The truth is that most venues don't make money off ticket sales for bands that play their. They make their money off beer sales. When someone figures out a way to make a room full of people pay $4.50 a glass for soda, and have them each drink 3-8 of them in a night, then all ages clubs will dominate. Until then she'll have to do what every other generation before has had to do, and wait.
Hopefully by the time she turns 21, she'll be able to leave her old dude with hospice or at the nursing home, so she can enjoy herself.
I'm sorry, did that come off a little mean?
Posted by MonkeyBeat on July 27, 2010 at 2:56 PM · Report
2
Even though there are a lot of good 21+ shows in town (which is a shame.... but I can't really talk - I help run 21+ pinball tournaments in town every week), there are still a decent amount of all ages options. House shows! Backspace! ETC. Stop listening to shit bands like Deadbolt (hey, it's like they're named after the thing that's on a lot of doors... the thing that has the word "dead" in its name), and go support some rad bands who are CHOOSING to play all ages places.

So, I dunno. You should talk to the OLCC about letting in youngsters.

Also, while it may be cool to date someone who is 26 years older than you, it is totally skeezy and gross to date someone who is 26 years younger than you. Your boyfriend is, no doubt and no offense, a gross loser.
Posted by ROM on July 27, 2010 at 3:05 PM · Report
3
I agree with everything ROM said. There are a lot of great all-ages shows happening, and even more would happen if they were supported by your presence and door $.
Posted by JonnyX and the Groadies on July 27, 2010 at 3:24 PM · Report
4
"Purveyor" means "supplier," which is the opposite of what the letter writer actually meant when she used it.

I am of two minds about venues being all ages. I remember when I was a teenager and had to miss Nick Cave several times because he only played at 21+ venues in Portland (while playing at plenty of all ages venues in other cities), which sucked a lot. I sympathize with the sentiment.

However, now that I'm over 21, fuck teenagers. (And not the way your 44-year-old boyfriend does.) I remember seeing Cursive at the Meow Meow back in the day, and it was fucking obnoxious because it was full of shitty teenagers dancing like morons. They ruin everything for everyone else and they have no respect for anyone.

Life ain't fair.
Posted by eldepeche on July 27, 2010 at 3:37 PM · Report

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