A Firm, Feature-Length Pinch on Tinseltown’s Swollen, Self-Absorbed Posterior
Hello. We're looking for an intern. But not just any intern, we are seeking a music intern. Unlike other editorial word slaves, we won't bother you with requests to see erotic local theater, attend City Council meetings, or alphabetize Erik Henriksen's comics (She Hulk is filed under S, not H).
Nope, you will be strictly devoted to the music section.
What does this internship require?
- There will be some mild calendar entry (boring), music blogging (exciting), talking about music (exciting), and listening to me talk about music (boring).
- You will probably be asked to contribute to our non-award winning weekly publication.
- You will probably be asked to contribute to End Hits, our non-award winning music blog.
- You will not be paid. Sorry.
- You will get free music, concerts, and the ability to silently judge others based solely on their (poor) taste in music. This is absolutely priceless.
- You will get published clips for your future career as a writer. (Career tip: Get used to hearing "you will not be paid.")
- You will get school credit. That is, if your school gives credit for such things.
- You will work in an office that includes both electricity and running water. (Work hours only, please.)
Wow, I can think of nothing better, what do you require of me?
- You can form a sentence. (Hell, if you can form a sentence, I should be working for you.)
- You can come in to our office at least one day a week.
- Previously published clips are nice but not required.
- You know about local music. Do you go to local shows? Do you know ASSS from STLS? Astrology from Archeology?
I am still reading this post, that means I must be interested.
- Excellent. Please send any clips—or, let's say 100 words on your favorite local release of the past year—to this address.
- Also, please send your availability.
- Thank you.