This Week in the Mercury

Putin and Punk Prayers: Pussy Riot's Continued Resistance


Putin and Punk Prayers: Pussy Riot's Continued Resistance

The Russian Feminist Collective Visits Portland

New Column!


New Column!

SQUEEE or SQUICKY? by Jonathan Lipnicki

Friday, January 14, 2011

Cast The Mountain Goats on Law and Order: SVU

Posted by Ezra Ace Caraeff on Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 9:19 AM

Tell that to the judge, baby raper.
  • "Tell that to the judge, baby raper."

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad, known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories... with John Darnielle!

Few causes get our endorsement like this seemingly random attempt to cast Mountain Goats frontman John Darnielle in an episode of Law and Order: SVU. Sure, why not? If Justin Bieber got on CSI, then Darnielle—the Justin Bieber for literate adults—can just as easily find a role on one of the dozen Law and Order programs.

Here's the campaign's mission statement:

Facebook got Betty White on SNL, and that's a start, but we are now tasked with a much more important mission. John Darnielle has stated repeatedly that he would like to appear on NBC's hit police procedural Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit. Who better than his legion of fans to rally and make this a reality? We love John and his band. We love lines like, "Tell that to the judge, baby raper." The two would almost certainly go together like hyperliterate peanut butter and semen-spattered jelly.

Perhaps he can even sing a catchy little number with Detective Fin Tutuola, AKA Ice-T. Hopefully it will turn out better than Ice-T's last rock and roll duet.


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