This Week in the Mercury


Monday, January 24, 2011

A Whole Lotta White People, Rapping Poorly

Posted by Raquel Nasser on Mon, Jan 24, 2011 at 3:53 PM

It's true; 98% of white people should not rap. Whether it's the debilitating lack of rhythm that is often encoded in the Caucasian genes, or the even worse material—no one gives a fuck about the hardships of a young Republican—there is just something about it that feels wrong nearly every time. White People Rapping Poorly (I actually first wrote "wrapping" instead of "rapping" just then... see how wrong it feels?!) stands as a bloggy testament to that.

Here is a sampling of what you'll find on this unfortunately awesome website:

Did you catch any of that? I did not. Mostly because it was incomprehensible, stream-of-consciousness bullshit, but also: those poor souls in the basement media lab there with him! Someone save them!

I say, if you're going to be a white rapper and you didn't grow up on 8 Mile, take the ingeniously raunchy route (much like MC Paul Barman). Or, be famous enough to make a "mockumentary" about it, and then incite a very public "hoax v. performance" argument to detract from any ridicule you might receive for failing miserably. The end.

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