This Week in the Mercury


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Santigold, B.o.B., and Matt & Kim Played a Concert in Boring Yesterday and You Weren't Invited

Posted by Ned Lannamann on Thu, Apr 4, 2013 at 9:57 AM


[Scroll ahead to 12:15 for the start of the video.]

This is the video from last night's show—which doubled as a two hour commercial for Vitaminwater*—that took place in nearby Boring, Oregon as the culmination of Vitaminwater's bizarre "Make Boring Brilliant" promotional campaign. This is one of those weird instances of marketing breaking through conventional advertising methods and running entirely amok. It's too strange for words. It looks like the drink brand took over the entire town of Boring, taking over "boring" town meetings and flag raisings for the purpose of comedy sketches (done by College Humor—you can watch just the sketches here). The boring old Red Apple Diner was turned into a fancy French restaurant! They put a dinosaur in the boring town park! Because Boring, Oregon, is boring, get it?, and thank god that Vitaminwater came to town to zazz it up for everybody! Hooray for Vitaminwater, you should buy some now or be doomed as a dullard forever.

This all culminated yesterday with an invite-only concert at the lodge at Camp Kuratli at Trestle Glen that had performances by Santigold, Matt & Kim, and B.o.B., with a lesser Wayans emceeing. I had hoped to get out there yesterday to see the thing for myself, but traffic made it impossible for me to get to Boring before the doors closed at 5:45. I'm a little relieved, as this thing looks sort of unbearable—shiny and flashy and loud and just plain dumb. But I probably could have gotten a lot of free Vitaminwater.

Still, this feels like an old joke turned into a bigger, longer, stupider joke. Boring, Oregon is boring! Small-town life in America is essentially unbearable! Here's a pretend concert that the public is not allowed to attend to make it all better!

* Vitaminwater prefers to be branded as the lower-case "vitaminwater," but Vitaminwater is a proper noun, so fuck that. Vitaminwater is not e.e. cummings.

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