Every year we like to place a little action on what Portland act the Willamette Week will anoint "Best New Band" for their annual cover story. Of course, BNB is a little absurd—after playing together for five years, I'm sure "new" band Red Fang appreciated their tenth place finish last year—but any excuse to gamble is fine by us.

This year we're feeling pretty confident—it's a five-star lock—on what band will win the coveted honor and skyrocket to greatness, or just become as popular as past winners Copy or the Shaky Hands. Our guess (and possible spoiler) after the jump.

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• A 'Smashing' Resemblance?

Last week, Billy Corgan attempted to remind people that he still fronts a band he calls The Smashing Pumpkins by revealing on Twitter that his new bassist, Nicole Fiorentino, was one of the two girls featured on the cover of the band's 1993 release Siamese Dream. The news got around over the weekend and raised a fair share of surprised glances. But, was it too good to be true?

Today, credible site TMZ (right?) are trying to tell us Fiorentino's not the girl after all. Gasp!

One of the girls on an iconic Smashing Pumpkins album cover is calling BS on Billy Corgan for claiming the band's new bassist was the OTHER girl on the cover.

The "Z" is reporting that Ali Laenger, the cover's other girl, has come forward to dispute Corgan's announcement, saying the photo was taken specifically for the album, making Fiorentino nearly 14 at the time of the shoot, and seemingly too old.

So, is this just a publicity stunt on Corgan's part to get people talking about the band in any context? Or did Fiorentino really tell Corgan she was the girl, either displaying an unfortunate amount of delusions or ultimately trolling her new bandmate? Or is it possible that TMZ's rigorous and dedicated fact-checking department have missed this one, and it's genuine?

Surely, this story has a few more unnecessary twists left to go. Hopefully, it'll wrap up sooner than Corgan's current, most head scratching project yet, Teargarden by Kaleidyscope, a 44-song "concept album" being released a song at time over the course of several years. Actually, that's baffling enough as it is. So, to ease the pounding in my head, here's a video of SP back in Siamese Dream era, playing one of my favorites, "Mayonaise."

• Cheesus Christ

From the Grilled Cheese Grill's Facebook page:

So who wants to come to the Double Decker on Wednesday during the day for a really cool video shoot that I'm not allowed to mention the specifics of due to a signed non-disclosure agreement? Come be a customer and make sure we look busy!!! (It being February in Portland and all....)

A non-disclosure agreement makes it sound fancy, but it damn well better not be a video shoot for the String Cheese Incident. I think it's a health code violation for their fans to get that close to food. If you have a guess on who is playing the bus, leave it in the comments section.

• photo: Luca Venter

Here's the full statement from Stolberg, from an email he sent to End Hits this morning:

We love Vincent Moon and we love working with him.

I can easily imagine why some people might find him difficult to work with. He has a very strong character and an uncompromising vision of how he wants to make his art and also how he wants to share this art with the world (which is for free). We have done three projects with him now. Temporary Copenhagen, a Take Away Session and now this 50 minute new film An Island. Every project has been incredible and we always come out on the other side with new inspiration and a feeling that we have found something new in our music. He is sweet and intelligent, and we believe he is a genius on the same level as the many brilliant musicians he has portrayed over the years. In regards to the latest controversy with AF's management we know nothing about it and have no opinion, but the only drug we have seen him using is Nutella - he simply loves Nutella :)

• Nutella: the ultimate gateway drug

That's what I'm getting from this I, Anonymous submission. It does sounds like, at least, that the historic monument has found a loving home with someone who appreciates its long and debaucherous history, and you know, was there, man:

I was here during the rise and the fall of the club Satyricon. I saw bullshit bands get fame while talent was passed by. I watched as local papers told us Courtney Love was a regular (she definitely was NOT!). And that if we were lucky we could get in to see Portland bands like Everclear and Sleeter-Kinney (NOT PORTLAND BANDS!). Who could I trust in this town? Who wouldn't lie to me? The goddamn marquee sign on the front of the building!! That's who! When it said "90 Proof" or "Sweaty Nipples" or "Poison Idea" or "Jolly Mon" or one of my all time favorite postings, "Speed Weenie w/Shit Finger," or "M99," "Flap Jacks," The Creeps," "Cryptic Slaughter," "Spaztic Blurr," "Big Daddy Meat Straw" I knew it was going to be an evening of pure PORTLAND debauchery. What? You don't know who these bands are? The sign on the front of the Satyricon does! That's why I drove downtown in my official looking truck, with an official ladder. Put on an official orange vest and an official hard hat, and in broad daylight officialy STOLE THE SIGN off the front of the building. It Is in my posession and will never be in the hands of the likes of Art Alexookiedooke (that Everclear guy) or Britney Spears or whoever the hell the local media wants to tell me rocked this town inside out!! Could you imagine Justin Beeber owning the awning from out front of C.B.G.B.? Not in my lifetime!! NOT IN MY TOWN!!

It's BIEBER, dude.

Last week, Deerhunter frontman and Atlas Sound mastermind Bradford Cox unleashed four, count 'em, four downloadable Atlas Sound mixtapes on the Deerhunter blog. The majority of the so-dubbed Bedroom Databank series' 50 tracks were recorded in the fall of this year. Cox tinkered with instruments like synths, bells, congas, mouth organ and harmonica, and even ventured to cover a couple of tracks—volume one of the series featured Kurt Vile's "Freak Train" and Bob Dylan's "This Wheel's On Fire."

Apparently, Sony Music Entertainment was none too happy about that last part, and decided to delete the links on the grounds of PIRACY. Or at least they tried to—according to Cox, they deleted the links to volumes two through four, not bothering to remove the one that contained the Dylan track. Whoops!

From the Deerhunter blog:

"Your Files Have Been Deleted"
Apparently Sony Music Owns my bedroom. Feel free to call or email and let them know what you think. I can understand them requesting for me to remove a cover but the only one I can imagine that happening with is Dylan. Which was on Vol. 1. Which was not deleted. I am re-uploading the files now. I'll put new links in the posts.

Head over to his blog to check out all of the material—the links for volumes two through four have been resurrected, and the link for number one is still alive and well—as well as a contact email and phone number for Sony Music Entertainment's Anti-Piracy division to ask them just WTF they were thinking.

We've heard from some pretty reliable sources that a newly-reunited Suede—as in the London Suede, or the second best band to emerge from the '90s Brit-Pop explosion (as always, Pulp wins that competition)—might be coming to Portland next year. Thank you, booking gods. Thank you.

Now back to my normal Monday morning activity of listening to nothing but Dog Man Star and writing in my journal about how dreamy Brett Anderson is.

• We used this image years ago and I'm too lazy to Photoshop another one.

Last night while I was at the movies watching the totally bitchin' Saw 3D: The Traps Come Alive (Okay, fine, I was actually at Harry Potter. You happy?) I got multiple text messages demanding I immediately head to NE Alberta bar the Bye and Bye. Why? Because Morrissey was there.

No way I was leaving that movie (Hermione was in trouble), plus the whole thing seemed a little preposterous. But just in case, let's do the rumor math...

PROS:
• Morrissey is not currently on tour.
• Morrissey is totally vegan, much like the Bye and Bye's menu.
• Morrissey is cold and alone, much like the snow that blanketed Portland.
• Morrissey used to play in some band with Portland resident Johnny Marr (although they probably hate each other).
• Morrissey is quite vain, so he'd love the very special Thanksgiving edition of Trouble Loves Me, it's Portland's best Morrissey tribute night. Look at the flyer, it's Moz and a Turkey.

CONS:
• Everything else.

I think the cons have it.

For all of you hoping to see a NSFW video of some Foxy Boxing, sorry to disappoint—this post concerns Women, the band. At their Victoria, B.C. show on October 29th—just four days after their headlining Doug Fir show here in Portland—the four Canucks nearly broke out into an onstage hockey fight. (Or as we call it here in the States, a fight.) Exclaim! has the scoop:

We were just at a show Women were headlining at Lucky Bar in Victoria, BC. As they initially came on stage the band members seemed to be struggling with Patrick [Flegel, guitarist] and a fight almost broke out. They went backstage again for several minutes. The band came out again minus Patrick and were making small talk with the audience. Patrick came out acting really erratic and said something to the effect of "we're breaking up right now, you're all going to see our last show."



They played about five songs, which sounded pretty awful. At one point Patrick said (into the mic, during a song) "you fucked that up" to Christopher [Reimer, guitarist]. Christopher and Matthew [Flegel, bassist] left the stage at the end of the song. Michael [Wallace, drummer] left after another minute or two or later, saying "my music career is over." Lucky turned the house music on while Patrick continued "playing." Security tried to talk him off stage. He left, and then came back and started smashing Matthew's guitar against an amp.

Since the tiff, the band has released a statement through their manager, detailing their level of stress, exhaustion, and desire for a break. Consequently, their next month of shows—including a full European tour—have been canceled. If you were at the Doug Fir that night, consider yourself lucky to have caught what could very well have been one of the last shows from a monumentally talented band that was, unfortunately, teetering on the brink all the while. If you weren't there, pick up a copy of their new record, Public Strain, anyway—I know we've crowed about it before, but it's one of the year's best so far—and keep your fingers crossed for reconciliation.

Yesterday the internet went all kinds of crazy when a Malibu Magazine article on Joanna Newsom made a pretty ambiguous mention of the indie-starlet's possible involvement in an upcoming episode of The Simpsons. The whole thing turned out to be a baseless rumor—non-evidence cited includes her involvement in the Matt Groening-curated ATP festival earlier this year as well as the Simpsons-esque portrait above, drawn by Groening for the previously mentioned festival. So alas, Newsom will not be yellowed up any time soon—though her and Lisa's voices would match up pretty well in a duet (hopefully not of "Do the Bartman").

It's just as well though, the soft-spoken, fairylike Newsom probably couldn't handle Homer yelling out "Taking Care Of Business" requests demands at her over and over. Want that BTO link en Español? Of course you do.

Somewhere between midnight and 1am, a certain big MusicFest NW band/performer will be playing a top secret set—complete with nude (we assume) dancers—at a local gentleman's club. Instead of lurking in the corner of every strip bar in town (how you usually spend your Thursdays), just follow the Twitter account of Into the Woods, who will be filming this guerilla performance. They just might spill the beans later tonight, let's say around 11pm or so.

Hey gumshoes, riddle me this: Opening tonight's Clientele show at the Doug Fir is the mysterious acronym TCTB. We're not gonna tell you what those letters stand for exactly—since we have a guess but it's most definitely not confirmed—but we can tell you what they probably don't stand for:

That Courtney Taylor Band (it's missing a Taylor)
The Cecil Taylor BigBand
The Crosby Tills and Boung (that's just lazy)

Okay, we're stumped. Just get there early and find out.

After rumors surfaced that the number one selling band in the country was about to announce a Seattle show, the End Hits staff put down our Graffix bong—we got a gnarly six footer—long enough to actually do some reporting and see if Arcade Fire is coming to Portland.

They are!

According to unconfirmed rumors—those are the best kind—the Montreal band will be here in late September playing a large venue that sometimes houses sporting events. The official announcement is coming soon, and tickets should be on sale within a week or so. We'll post all the details once they are official.

• Pictured: Blue Giant. Not Pictured: Blue Giant

It was supposed to be a secret, but since we're all sailors here (or at least, dressed like sailors) we can mention that Blue Giant is playing a "secret" show at Mississippi Studios tomorrow night. They'll be joined by Dolorean for the free 9pm show. Shhh?